good news everyone: the slime is flowing again

My nerdmance, which be released in August (I think)?), Looking for Group is available for pre-order on the Riptide site.

Here’s the 100%, absolutely correct blurb (you saw it here first, tell all your friends and family, never forget where you were the day the blurb for LFG was right) 

So, yeah, I play Heroes of Legend, y’know, the MMO. I’m not like obsessed or addicted or anything. It’s just a game. Anyway, there was this girl in my guild who I really liked because she was funny and nerdy and a great healer. Of course, my mates thought it was hilarious I was into someone I’d met online. And they thought it was even more hilarious when she turned out to be a boy IRL. But the joke’s on them because I still really like him. 

And now that we’re together it’s going pretty well. Except sometimes I think Kit—that’s his name, sorry I didn’t mention that—spends way too much time in HoL. I know he has friends in the guild, but he has me now, and my friends, and everyone knows people you meet online aren’t real. I mean. Not Kit. Kit’s real. Obviously. 

Oh, I’m Drew, by the way. This is sort of my story. About how I messed up some stuff and figured out some stuff. And fell in love and stuff.

Also isn’t the cover just the prettiest, most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. It’s Simone, of course. And I especially love, love, love the nod to, cough, a certain Tier 5 priest set. I kind of crowd-sourced ideas for this cover from Group, so I owe all the amazing folks over at Hassell & Hall a massive thank you. (And, yes, if you’re the sort of person who enjoys doing my job for me, join Hassell & Hall today!)

I’m sort of simultaneously excited and nervous about this book. It’s set in an MMO—which may or may not bear a striking resemblance to another popular MMO—and I really wanted to translate the experience of being in that sort of world into the text itself. And so I haven’t made many concessions to people for whom that kind of experience might be obscure or alien. But, hey, I wrote a book in eighteenth century thieves’ cant, so I figure you’re all pretty used to my nonsense by now. Basically I hope that if you are the sort of person who likes this sort of thing then this will be the sort of the thing that you like. Because that is who I wrote this for.

There’s a glossary though! A legit glossary in the back. So you, too, can say things like “prio star, cc square, & full burn on skull but no  AoE.” And won’t that be fun. Although, honestly, once you’ve played an MMO that sort of vocabulary does burn its way into your brain. There’ve certainly been occasions when I’ve said to my partner in all seriousness: “okay, you prio the frying pan, I’ll tank the plates.”

This book also contains all the spoilers, no really all the spoilers, or everything, more geek injokes than there are womp rats in Beggar’s Canyon, nostalgic references to mid 90s computer games that weren’t as good as we remember, and two hopeless nerdboys holding hands. Oh, some apostrophes were harmed during the making of this book.

Here’s a sneaky excerpt.

Drew activated his bindstone, then hopped a skyship across continents and flew south to Alarion. He flapped over the ruins looking for Solace, and found her on the same bit of fallen temple. She was sitting on the edge in her battered fishing hat, her line arcing into the purple-blue water.

Ella took off her helmet and plopped down next to her.

[Group][Orcarella]: good run tonight

[Group][Solace]: Yeah, it was fun

[Group][Solace]: Nice work on Vilicus

[Group][Orcarella]: you too

[Group][Solace]: I died

[Group][Orcarella]: yeah but heroically

[Group][Solace]: Heroically hit by a ghost while trying to get off a Greater Heal

[Group][Orcarella]: well you died so others might live and stuff

[Group][Solace]: First rule of healing is healer heal thyself

[Group][Solace]: We pretend to be all nurturing but actually we’re just trying to keep lots of warm bodies between us and the enemy

[Group][Orcarella]: like emperor Palpatine

There was long—for lack of a better term—silence, and Drew wondered if he’d blown it. Dead kobold fine. Comparing her to Darth Sidious not so much.

[Group][Solace]: Sorry, I’m trying to make a Star Wars joke but the Emperor has no decent lines.

[Group][Orcarella]: I find your lack of healz disturbing

[Group][Solace]: That’s Vader.

[Group][Orcarella]: wow you’ve put way more thought into this than I have

[Group][Solace]: *blush*

[Group][Orcarella]: no its cool

[Group][Orcarella]: you’re right, I can’t remember any of his lines

[Group][Orcarella]: except like you know

[Group][Orcarella]: DIEDIEDIE

[Group][Solace]: For a guy called Darth Sidious he’s kind of

[Group][Solace]: . . .

[Group][Solace]: not very insidious

[Group][Orcarella]: lol

[Group][Orcarella]: i hadn’t even noticed that

[Group][Orcarella]: you know what I find weird about star wars

[Group][Solace]: I’d love to hear what you find weird about Star Wars

[Group][Orcarella]: i have to go google this because it’s so weird

[Group][Orcarella]: brb

[Group][Solace]: kk

[Group][Orcarella]: okay so this epic saga of love and war and space and good and evil and stuff opens with:

[Group][Orcarella]: The taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute.

[Group][Solace]: lololol

[Group][Solace]: Hey, I played a republic in Crusader Kings II. 

[Group][Solace]: Trade embargos are hardcore.

[Group][Orcarella]: You play CKII?

[Group][Solace]: I may have the body of a weak and feeble Dark Elf

[Group][Solace]: But I have the heart and stomach of a king, and a King of England

[Group][Orcarella]: don’t you mean a concrete elephant

[Group][Solace]: And he likes Blackadder too

[Group][Solace]: Be still my beating heart

So, um, yes. You can preorder this on RP’s website or buy it from both reputable and most likely unreputable book sellers some time in August.

And if you prefer this sort of news (and other extras) delivered straight to your inbox, there’s always my Newsletter of Benign Neglect & Broken Promises:

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3 Responses to good news everyone: the slime is flowing again

  1. Laura says:

    I can’t wait for this one! I’ve never played an MMO, but I can see myself getting addicted to one (which is why I’ve never started playing, to be honest) so I already know I’m going to like it. Also, I love how Drew sounds in the blurb, and I want to meet him so badly!

    I’ll stare at my mailbox until my paperback gets here because that cover is amazing and I just want to pet it <3

    So yeah, I'm really excited about this ^^

  2. Pam/Peejakers says:

    It’s a day that shall live in . . . what’s the opposite of infamy? Famy? 😀

    Anyway, yaaay!! I’m so happy for you! And me! Us! Everybody! And despite the fact I only partially bits of that dialogue, it sounds adorable. But I’m glad there’s a glossary 😉 And I still can’t get over how gorgeous this cover is 🙂

    I can’t wait for August! Okay, well, no, maybe I don’t want to be wishing the summer away, but I can’t wait for this book 🙂

    Go you! <3 <3 <3

    • Pam/Peejakers says:

      Omg, I just did a “you” – it must be catching 😉 – ^^^ That should say “I only partially understood”, not “I only partially” 😛

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