The best way to do this is via my wonderful assistant, Mary. Although she might be the one to respond to your message, she makes sure I see everything that’s sent to me. Well, nearly everything. If you’re horribly rude she might not pass that on.

Mary is also the person to get in touch with if you—sorry this sounds really presumptuous, as if people are banging on my virtual door, clamouring for my attention—but, like, if you want me to write you something, or to interview me or have me on your podcast or whatever. Or if you want to do one of those author events where we chat about your book for a while (though I understand that’s probably something that you’ll arrange through your publicist).

(Please note: while Mary sets her own hours, I strongly encourage her not to work over the weekend, so you may need to wait until Monday for a response if you get in touch very late Friday, Saturday or Sunday. Please try to be patient. Also, do be aware that Mary is in the UK, so if your message arrives at 3am our time, she is unlikely to respond until the next day. Again, please try to be patient.)

A few quick things before reaching out:

• I’m aware my books explore sexual situations but please do not send sexually explicit material (either visually or verbally) to Mary. I’m afraid we will not be able to answer any emails that contain such material.
• If there’s something in particular you’d like me to answer, I’ll always do my best, but I do recommend checking out my FAQs first because there’s a tonne of information available there.
• If the fact that of all my books being set in the UK isn’t hint enough, please do remember I live in the UK. So it is unlikely to be practical for me to pop into an event in the USA.
• And I really wish this went without saying, but please do remember that Mary both exists and should be treated with courtesy. It gets incredibly weird incredibly quickly if we’re emailing back and forth, trying to arrange something, and Mary is the one handling the logistics, yet you keep addressing me instead like she’s a fraudulent Victorian occultist summoning my spirit from the netherworld.
• Finally, I’m really sorry but neither Mary nor I currently have the time to be anyone’s pen pal. We’re incredibly touched you like us enough to want to maintain a long-term correspondence but it’s just not possible. We hope you understand.

Get in touch here: mary@quicunquevult.com.